Dementia is a bizarre and cruel disease. While my mother, Coca, may have mentally deleted an ex-husband, siblings, forgotten nieces’ names, or to whom nephews belong, while playing our version of Chronology she knew exactly when the Battle of Hastings was. (1066 if you wanted to know). So while she doom scrolls all day long and watches the evening news, over dinner she can’t tell me anything that has been reported. The first few weeks of my “digital detox” included no news, so Mom’s inability to recount any news was frankly ideal. And truly, even logged off most everything, I likely know more than most, considering the number of people who on Election Day Googled “Did Joe Biden drop out?” (People, seriously. WTF?)
Do not confuse my disconnection with being insensitive to the plights of so many who are being affected by the current “situation.” I do feel guilty though, and privileged; as my cousin Jennifer said, she feels she has to “bear witness” as so many right now do not have the “option to ignore the insanity.” My severance with news is temporary as I learn new patterns and ways to consume information; this is currently a form of self- preservation.
During the last election season (all six million years of it) it felt even more important to be aware of events, each news cycle with its irrefutable proof that a certain candidate was unfit for office. His inability to hold a thought longer than a rabid hamster, his constant reference to a fictional cannibalistic serial killer, each bold lie— every day it was something so deeply bizarre and disturbing you really did have to read the transcripts to see if maybe the comedians went too far or if you’d fallen for a “deep fake.” And there was always so much, so exhausting, and the stakes so high. As Johann Hari explains in his book, Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again, there is just too much information coming at us for the human brain to manage. And when you add unstable leaders in dangerous times, coupled with misinformation, and introduce artificial intelligence into the mix, being exposed to a mere fraction of what is happening in the world is staggering, parsing reality from fictional manipulative images is taxing. It’s a deluge to our processing capabilities.
Being unplugged means not marking time in Scaramuccis. It also lessens the feeling of impotence to stop the inevitable calamities as they unfolded, or becoming incensed and aggravated at each detailed analysis of the implications to our democracy—and this is not hyperbole—to the world. Some of you have the luxury of sane representatives, or at least ones who have some semblance of a moral compass. I do not. I have Lindsey Graham and Tim Scott. One worse than the other, but both so far have proved themselves to be beholden to The Fanta Menace (credit to some genius on reddit for this nick name). I spent most of the years 2017-2019 calling my representatives, emailing them, writing letters to the editor regarding their genuflections, and not once to my recollection did our efforts make any difference to their voting decisions in the Senate. I knew that this time around would be no different. As evidenced the first week; late Friday night, January 24th, as I collected the dinner dishes, my mother took up her phone, and as I’m rinsing I hear her say, “SHhhit!”
“Oh no, what’s happened? Do I want to know? Are we safe?”
“Hegseth was confirmed.”
I put a plate down. Then I laughed and laughed, followed by “Ohhhhh fuck.” (Yes, we’re a bunch of potty mouths over here, très NSFW)
On a Zoom call with my dad and stepmom, David and Polly, I explained that that was the extent of the news I knew from the first week. My dad said, “Vance had to come in and break the tie! Mitch voted against his nomination!”
“Mitch? Moscow Mitch?” Now this was interesting.
My father’s head bobbed with a bewildered smile, also surprised at the old obstructionist suddenly growing a spine (really loose term there).
I mused, “Lindsey Graham should be ashamed. Wasn’t he in the military? Surely he has a modicum of respect for—” And we all threw our heads back and laughed and laughed, albeit deeply disturbed, knowing that the surreal list of cabinet nominees would all get confirmed no matter how ill-equipped and dangerous they are.
Many of us want to be well informed, I believe it’s our duty to be a good citizens, but the constant barrage of harrowing news, leaves us traumatized, overwhelmed by the feeling of not having any control over the situation. And again, this is by design. Literally, “put them in trauma,” was the plan for federal workers according to Russell Vought, the Christian Nationalist, who is now head of the Office of Management and Budget. “The cruelty is the point,” was coined during the first administration and whether you’re unplugged or not, with sadistic measures these people are unraveling lives without an ounce of compassion.
We’ve now completed the first month of this administration and I have dipped my toes back in the news. During this turnip’s absolutely bonkers first time in office, Matt Kiser started this site: What the Fuck Just Happened Today? He encapsulates the day in a sentence, granted some days the sentence is Faulkner-like in length, but he provides an amazing recap of the basics. Just enough so you’re not in the dark but not so bogged in details that you want to cry. What I’ve really discovered though, is without the doomscrolling, the worry, fear, and panic are tempered. While it is nice to have a sense of community online, to not feel alone amidst the insanity, to have your indignation validated, with it comes the constant shriek of alarm. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be distressed, I’m not saying we shouldn’t be calling our useless representatives— we should! There just has to be a way to do so without the constant sense of anxiety. And for now this is how I have to control what and how I consume the news.
One evening, despite having known the basics for the day, I learned that reading the newsletters “The Seven” by the Washington Post, or Joyce Vance’s “Civil Discourse” is vastly different than seeing and hearing. Coca turned on the T.V. before I could escape the room, exposing me to the sounds and blatant lies being hurled out. I could feel myself tense up, and reinforcing why keeping the sensory input to a minimum has to be my new normal. (Maybe it’s just my neurospicy brain, but I don’t think so!)
Living in a constant state of chaos, as we are, our bodies react in many different ways. Chronic stress brings depression, disease and right now many feel despair. We don’t have time for despondency.
When I told my cousin David last month that I was quitting news, he texted back, “I guess you picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!” No kidding.
Pace yourselves, my friends.
I just put the Stolen Focus book on hold at my library. Lucky me: there is one copy available…
“Oh no, what’s happened? Do I want to know? Are we safe?" This is basically fight or flight response. Seems like I have this same reaction to at least once a day (but sometimes multiple times per day) while scrolling. That can't be good for the nervous system!